In January 2012, I began studying with the Open College of Arts (OCA). This Blog is my learning log for Drawing 1 as my first course, a documentary of my journey through the course.
Navigating this learning log
This blog is structured in two separate dimensions. Firstly, there is the top menu. The ‘Blog’ entry contains all posts in reverse chronolical order. The ‘Gallery’ section contains photos of everything I have been doing for this course, plus additional experiments and studies related to it. Then there is a separate menu item for each part of the course, with submenus for each individual project within the parts, plus the assignments. While the gallery contains only images, the course part menus provides the context with background reflections and research throughout the course.
Then there is a secondary natigation to the right. The ‘Coursework summary” section is especially relevant for final assessment. It provides a summary for each part of the course. The ‘Studio and beyond’ section gives direct access to the course’s research points, more research on artists and exhibition visits, and other inspirations I came across while studying. The ‘Archives’ section contains all posts ordered by months.
Beginning the course
What are my hopes plands and expectations for this course? I’ll quote from my introductory e-mail to my course tutor, Diana Ali:
Professionally I’m not really settled – originally obtained a Master’s degree in business administration, then re-trained as a web/multimedia/database programmer in 2001, and began studying psychology with the OU in 2008 to prepare another career change. But there’s also the joy of learning new things which motivates me to continue studying in parallel to working. I wonder whether I might bring art and psychology together some day in the future, for example by becoming an art psychotherapist and/or doing research in this direction.
But for the time being, my main aim for this course is to begin with the basics and see if I can reconnect to the sense of creativity I once had. So the interest is basically in exploring the different techniques, finding out what I like to do and re-integrate art back into my life. On more concrete terms, I would like to develop technical skills to express how I see things. I’m often fascinated by structures or views when I take photographs, and I’d like to try out what I can do by drawing what I see.
At the end of the course, I will add a brief note on what I perceive as achievements from all the work done.
Taking a break (November 2012)
I’m taking a break off OCA studies until the end of March 2013 in order to complete my Master’s studies with the Open University. Sad about the interruption, but hoping to get back on track with a free mind then!
Back into coursework (October 2013)
The break was longer than anticipated. I finished the Master’s, and in June moved to New York which turned my life upside down… by now I’m gradually getting accustomed to the new environment and am back to studying for the course. I have less time available than I used to have in Berlin, and I’m working hard to make some progress. Not sure whether I’ll succeed in building up new skills, rather than repeating old errors. But at least I’m trying…
Completing the course (March 2014)
It has taken a long time to get through this course, almost 2 and a half years. I’m glad I got this far and I do see the progress I made, but I’m disappointed by the tutor feedback I received on the final two parts, where I thought to have drastically improved. The comments made me feel that all the effort and hard work I put into this course weren’t appreciated, on the grounds that I could have done better and be more innovative.
I feel betrayed and question the whole undertaking of studying with OCA, because it costs me a lot in terms of energy and time, but doesn’t seem to be successful by other people’s criteria. And I’m not even satisfied myself with what I achieved by trying to follow course instructions conscientiously. I feel like having been led into a direction that doesn’t suit me, and then criticised for mediocre results.
I will prepare the submission for course assessment, but I don’t expect more than a pass, and that’s quite disheartening. I’m disappointed because all this spoils the feeling of achievement I should have after completing the course.
I’m not yet at the point of giving up, because I seem to be getting along better in the watercolour course, where instructions are much less prescriptive and I discover that a lighter approach works well for me. And there’s a strange feeling that I’d be much more satisfied if I simply followed my instinct and explored what I find interesting, instead of sticking to a set of instructions. I hope I can liberate myself in the context of subsequent courses, otherwise I’ll probably stop studying with OCA.
Before course assessment (October 2014)
Half a year has passed since I completed regular coursework. During this time, I found some inner distance and got beyond the disappointment. Topics from the drawing course keep coming up all the time in my other coursework and without the immediate pressure of an exercise to complete, I got along much better with drawing. I now feel that the course has planted seeds on which I can build, and that’s a compensation for the frustration I’ve gone through. I’m now getting in the habit of drawing in my sketchbook, I try different media and different approaches, and also see improvements in skills and style.
With hindsight, I think it’s a pity that I did not work much more outside the course briefs and develop a more intuitive, personal style. But maybe I just had to go through that stage. In a way, I wouldn’t mind doing the course again, this time taking much more freedom in task interpretation and be more experimental in approach. The course covers so much ground and I feel I barely scraped a little at the surface while doing it, despite the long time it took to complete!
Philosophical comment
It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get. Confucius